Friday was the last day of classes. A tremendous relief. I had been extremely stressed, tortured even and still am, by some quite difficult assignments. One in particular, was extremely difficult because it concerned things like institutions, mechanisms, markets…any kind of work that removes people and events and transforms them into ‘things’, I cannot comprehend. It’s impossible. I don’t like anything that doesn’t come fairly easily and this class filled me with dread and I am so glad it is over.
Not that it’s always necessary to actually attend classes. Most lectures, barring the ones where the professor (rightfully I think) refuses to allow this to happen, are recorded. Physically attending isn’t a necessity which has proved to be very tempting many a time! Too tempting for a lot of us. In one of my modules we were forced to have a study partner. With mine, we completed our report online, literally only met up once and ended up planning what we’d wear to the end of term night out!
Well, that was one way I’ve wasted time in a library. Though as a pre-teen and teen, it was where I discovered the joys of written sex. Most definitely not a waste of time. Among other great literary joys obviously.
“A library is a place where you can lose your innocence without losing your virginity.”
― Germaine Greer
I wouldn’t say I always came across ‘sexy sex’, but nestled within the chapters of trashy horror, historical romance, dystopian sci fi, the array of ‘black gay and lesbian’ (I’m not going to discuss why these were grouped together and set apart in a specific tiny corner of the library, yet with a large sign on top of the bookshelf, and I mean super large!) books. I received an introduction to the various ways, scenes, scenarios that surround what is, at heart, a simple act.
There isn’t an act that has the an array of ‘accoutrements’, mystique, myth, secrecy, shame and pleasure that sex does. I think it’s impossible for me to write about sex and intimacy (I will try of course) because there is so much I’ve done, I adore, I would love to do, or will never ever do again. A series of experiments, of fortunate and unfortunate genital events. How else can you discover what you love?
Anyway, as I am trying very hard to keep to one point, what one person likes, another dislikes. One person’s ‘must have’ physical stimulation can be another’s (or my) worst nightmare. To be exciting, intimate, and fulfilling, communication and boundaries is key. This is not an easy thing for some yet so simple for others. That isn’t learnt in the pages of the book but through experience. One thing about this world is that both partners have to express what they like or don’t like and the key is to listen. It’s that simple.