The joy of (vanilla) sex.
Ebony Dinner Date Companion in London
So, between you and me, facilitating pleasure is something I take very seriously. It’s a completely clinical word for sure, but its etymology regardless of it’s overtone, is the right one; to make easy, render less difficult.
Is this evident in the initial contact stage with me? Not at all, if you were to ask the ’look at sexy photos and call the number without reading a thing’ segment of the client population, which is entirely deliberate. But once the necessary sifting and sorting of the serious from the fantasists is over, the real fun starts. Planning our time together.
You see, pleasure in all its forms involves self-awareness, adaptability, curiosity and vulnerability. It isn’t the easiest thing to do, putting into words your needs to me, a virtual, very sexy stranger. It is a huge compliment, and one I adore returning.
One thing that strikes me about the suitors I meet is the consideration, intentionality and planning these gentlemen have put into their decision. We both have our personal experiences, innate likes, and as I told a suitor recently, personal ‘vibes’ (I’m yet to find a better word than vibes!) that we bring with us.
And so, leading up to our date, unearthing needs and desires is so important. Knowing these becomes key to facilitating a fulfilling experience that satisfies the two of us. An encounter filled with adventure, passion and acceptance is absolutely everything.
Though I have to say, in response to my gently probing questions, I’ve often received variations of ”oh nothing exciting, I just like vanilla” conveyed in a somewhat slightly shamefaced tone.
It’s as if confessing to wanting a vanilla intimate encounter is far too ordinary, especially when faced with the chance to indulge in an imagined superior cornucopia of sexual delights. As though wanting a sexual experience without ‘kink’ is disappointing, or something to feel embarrassed about.
I would like to change your mind on this.
Vanilla sex with me is an ever changing, melt in your mouth, or hand, kind of experience. You’ll discover that it’s extremely satisfying on its own and with added accoutrements!
The more kinky encounters...
I indulge in always contain the fundamentals of authentic vanilla sex – passion, humour, warmth, a desire to want to physically please and have this reciprocated. These are what make my dates…mouth-watering. They’re vital ingredients that all memorable kink or vanilla dates contain.
As a woman with a very sweet tooth, it’s funny that in the culinary world, vanilla is also thought of as being something unadventurous and plain. Definitely not the first choice in a sweet, dessert or ice cream of someone with a sophisticated, worldly palate!
Sweets which incorporate exotic flavours and ingredients, often contain vanilla (my gosh if the seo purpose of this blog was vanilla!) but even then it’s rarely given the importance it deserves. It languishes sadly in the background while the ‘exciting’ flavours take centre stage. Perhaps it’s silently waiting for a real connoisseur to notice it’s there and give it the attention it deserves, that’s what I like to think.
I reckon that people who think vanilla is boring, both in flavour and sexual tastes, haven’t experienced how good vanilla can be. It’s an absolutely gorgeous flavour and far more complex than its given credit for.
Take it from me,
a spice that’s quite difficult to grow successfully can’t be considered ordinary. It takes a complicated and difficult process that requires specific locations, pollinators, climate or else it won’t flourish, thereby denying you the pleasure of laying your eager little hands on it. Sound familiar?
Authentic vanilla is luxurious, exotic and seduces the tongue like nothing else. Many off the shelf sweet treats don’t actually contain the genuine seed, but an artificial, watered down, generic version of the real thing. I mean, have you sampled a cake or pastry without it? It’s absence is noticeable and what’s left is ultimately unsatisfying and wholly forgettable.
Vanilla takes a certain kind of dedication and planning that not everyone can commit to. Though I would say that a unique something dedicated to spreading sheer oral pleasure is worth the trouble and expense. After all, an authentic intimate encounter, whether vanilla or not, isn’t easy to cultivate either.
I’m more than happy (and able) to slip easily into a variety of sensual scenarios, but do wonder why vanilla sex has come to mean boring sex? A mundane, middle of the road and to be frank, lesser relative of kink.
Most, if not all, sexual activities that fall under the umbrella of ‘vanilla’ when done with passion, energy and relish, easily rival the perceived naughtiness of ‘kink’. A vanilla experience is just as intense and ‘naughty’ as those perceived to stray from sexual normalcy. Vanilla sex easily stands its ground when compared to kink.
I’m sure you agree, and if you don’t, changing your mind will be a hell of a lot of fun!
So far this has been a wonderfully exciting summer, filled with vanilla, and not so vanilla, luxurious dates. Thank you to the gents who’ve treated me to many exciting first experiences (that I may blog about in my break!) that really did provide a much appreciated contrast to my ‘normal’ work.
Ever the planner, I have scheduled a retreat into my own little pod for the month of August to finally finish my redecorating projects at a leisurely pace. If you would like to help with my plans giftcards from John Lewis would make a much appreciated gift!
But before that, I would love to make the most of the summer heat together before my brief break. Escaping the sun in a cool gallery, ice cream and champagne (for you!) in bed, or maybe you’re a man who likes to take the reigns…
Allow me to remind you of the simple satisfaction to be found in sharing time and space with someone you just ‘vibe’ with.
Allowing yourself be present and opening up to a woman that can be trusted with your stories, your humour and your passion is a release all too often neglected by many of us. Free time is so rare, and when it comes to fulfilling our need for physical intimacy, let’s not waste it.